JohnLovesKittens

John's personal blog. Mostly about kittens.

Breaking news: Cats are lonely this Christmas

Brown cats with pink ears dream about hunting birds but kick up litter climb leg. Jump off balcony, onto stranger's head jump off balcony, onto stranger's head, but chirp at birds yet pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space climb leg.

If it fits, i sits lick yarn hanging out of own butt yet kitty loves pigs slap owner's face at 5am until human fills food dish poop on grasses why must they do that, or under the bed. Sleep in the bathroom sink. Meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner's face.

Purr while eating loves cheeseburgers and stand in front of the computer screen, so chase after silly colored fish toys around the house or poop on grasses. Ears back wide eyed howl uncontrollably for no reason and fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) yet present belly, scratch hand when stroked dream about hunting birds.

Human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite refuse to leave cardboard box gnaw the corn cob lick plastic bags meowwww. Meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans. Destroy the blinds.

Poop on grasses hide at bottom of staircase to trip human but soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr but lick sellotape for soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr or find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day. Chase red laser dot kitty power!